Things the new Star Trek should do (but probably won’t)

So by now you’ve probably heard the news: CBS announced a new Star Trek series to begin in early 2017. Given that the last two new Star Trek series and last six Star Trek movies were crap (unless you count Galaxy Quest, that was a better Star Trek movie than any movie that says “Star Trek” on it), I’m not getting my hopes up.

But if they were to do it right, here’s a few things I think would help:

  • One hundred percent moratorium on white cishet human male characters. Not as main cast, not in speaking roles, not as extras. No mention, no in-story explanation, just none happen to show up. Because let’s face it, they’d be a tiny minority of Federation citizens, and there’ve already been ridiculously huge numbers of them onscreen.
  • LGBTA representation in the main cast. Human LGBTA representation.
  • No Prime Directive. Either no acknowledgment that there ever was a Prime Directive, or include the Prime Directive with capitalism and racism as dark stains on the past which we have evolved beyond. Starfleet officers are trained to follow the actual rules anthropologists follow when dealing with other cultures.
  • While we’re there, make episodes that critique the hell out of the horribly fucked up politics and morality of the prior series. Give us a main character who’s willing to call the Federation on its bullshit, like Kira or Eddington. Give us episodes that exist solely to tell the past to go fuck itself, like “Too Short a Season.”
  • No gender binary. It’s the fucking future, get rid of that nonsense. Especially don’t apply it to aliens, that’s just stupid. Maybe if you want have one species of one-shot weirdo aliens of the week who have a gender binary, but tread carefully if you do that.
  • Hire somebody with experience writing good Star Trek–Diane Duane, Peter David, Melinda Snodgrass, whoever wrote the last couple episodes of STO, someone like that.

Basically, make it the idealistic, utopian show Trek has always pretended to be. Do that, and I guarantee… well, I guarantee that the show will be canceled in three episodes amidst howls of outrage from viewers, but they’ll be an interesting three episodes.

6 thoughts on “Things the new Star Trek should do (but probably won’t)

  1. What I would like to see is a show set on a ship that isn’t controlled by the Federation. Starfleet may have representation but no authority.

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  2. I have a headcanon that the Prime Directive wasn’t instituted because of any well-meaning-but-naïve do-gooderness, but simply as a way of averting quarrels between spacefaring empires about HOW they should guide and shape the development of future civilizations.

    I mean, would you want all the big spacefaring races playing political ping-pong with less-developed worlds as the balls? I wouldn’t.

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  3. The case for the Prime Directive rests on the claim that contact between warp capable and warp-incapable societies fundamentally lead to predictable harms (2) and undue intrusions (3) are so large and widespread that they swamp other concerns.

    The rejoinder could be either A) disputing the empirical claim B) accepting the empirical claim, but noting that an increase in concerns for (2) and (3) does not imply that obligations for (4) and (8) are reduced, but instead that no anthropological study of pre-warp cultures may ethically be undertaken.

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  4. I feel like there has to be a middle ground between “guiding and shaping development” and “spying on people from behind a fucking duck blind.” They’re both spectacularly fucking paternalistic.

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